… the art cultivating positive exchanges with others into ever-growing connectedness in harmony. It includes recognizing and identifying negative dynamics as soon as possible, if they occur, and transform them as quickly and as skillfully as possible into virtuous dynamics.
The whole spectrum of interference between two human beings is immense. IP offers multidimensional perspectives to understand our inherent motivation for social interactions. This 8th element of IP explores the first level of awareness in human interaction, a level that is accessible for all human beings with an elementary psychological self-awareness. It is an essential stepping stone towards higher levels of inter-relational communion like relational cord awareness (IP 14 & 15) and co-creative living with others (IP 20).
We, humans, are social creatures and our self-discovery and life quality are significantly shaped and enhanced by exchanges with others. It is obvious that we live in an interdependent society. Most of what we eat, drink, wear, consume and use is made and provided by others. For mere survival and satisfaction of basic needs, we depend on others. So good relating improves the smoothness in which we can get our basic needs fulfilled. Yet
According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, humans need to feel love and acceptance from social groups (family, peer groups). In fact, the need to belong is so innately ingrained that it may be strong enough to overcome physiological and safety needs, such as children’s attachment to abusive parents or staying in abusive romantic relationships. Such examples illustrate the extent to which the psychobiological drive to belong is entrenched. The IP process work helps individuals to shift from abusive relationships towards sane relationships, to shift from codependency towards healthy interdependency, to shift from isolation towards connectedness, to move out of alienation towards belonging, and from superficial (unfulfilling) relationships towards deeply fulfilling relationships.
In the IP journey personal growth is immediately linked to growth in relationships and vice versa.
When our functional ego is in service of our masks, our defenses, our wounds, our inner critic or our lower self, our illusions, our fixed ideas, our negative beliefs it creates inner disharmony, pain, and tension. To the extent we can own all our shadow pieces, we can keep our relationships clean, safe, and respectful. To the extent we don’t own our shadow patterns, we project them onto others. And these shadow projections contribute to conflict, tension, disharmony, hurt, damage, and pain in relationships. A conflict in a relationship will always be taken as an invitation to engage in another (deeper) level of psychological integration.
Very often, any authentic self-transformation automatically resolves the relational conflict through a change of perspective or by the law of resonance. And even when this doesn’t happen instantly we can at least move forward in resolving the conflict in that relationship from a better and higher ground within ourselves.
To the extent is in service of and in communion with our Higher Self, the ego will be in truth, in respect, in harmony, in goodness within oneself and also sincerely with the other. This will contribute to positive dynamics in the relationships. These virtuous dynamics will make the relationship grow, stabilize and flourish, and lead it to the heights of divine relationships = co-creative communion with others (IP 20).