The boundary paradox

“The presence of healthy boundaries creates more connectedness, intimacy and unity. The absence of healthy boundaries creates more fragmentation, superficiality and separation.”

Jan Janssen


Healthy boundaries are not the same as barriers, on the contrary. The absence of healthy boundaries, be it confusion, indecision, exaggeration or obscurity within the relational or social limits, gives rise to defense mechanisms. Then it is our defenses, our masks, our wounds and our lower self that cause barriers and division. Healthy boundaries are installed by our positive and functional ego. Guided by the Higher Self, he is the clever navigator who organizes one’s boundaries according to the divine harmonies.

My personal experience, the accompaniment of thousands of people and the teaching of hundreds of people, constantly confirm to me the interesting paradox that the absence of the boundaries provokes more distance, separation and opposition between men, while healthy, flexible, adaptable and clear boundaries ignite more closeness, intimacy and harmony among men.

Jan Janssen, 12/2/2018.


  • Healthy boundaries define our individualized being while remaining unified with the All.
  • Healthy boundaries define our optimal Self expression in space-time.
  • Healthy boundaries are always dynamic. They change permanently according to needs, circumstances, relational constellations and human evolution in every present moment experience.
  • Healthy boundaries favor an optimal relational and social organization.
  • The transcendent consciousness (the Neutral Observer) is not confined by healthy boundaries without ignoring them. It transcends them.
  • The universal love of our Higher Self is in no way halted by healthy boundaries without invading them. It transcends them.
  • Human loves (attraction, passion, friendship, couple, philia, loyalty, belonging, …) are clearly limited by healthy boundaries and this is part of the relational and social organization.
  • Healthy boundaries do not imply indifference. On the contrary, they optimize our maximum predisposition to be a positive instrument in space-time in the service of the divine for the best interests of oneself, the other and all living beings.

Boundaries and awakening

Before awaking, we are not free in ourselves. We are under the influence of our usual compulsions, our unconscious beliefs and our blind loyalties.
Awakened, we are free to choose our words, thoughts, beliefs, expectations, ambitions, intentions, actions …
Yet, we are not free of their consequences.
Our words, thoughts, beliefs, intentions and actions are individualized creative forces that give a signal to the universe. And the universe responds faithfully to our individualized creative forces according to universal creative laws. I perceive these universal forces as just and benevolent. The combination of both creates the results. In our journey of transformation to enlightenment, we can learn to control our words, thoughts, beliefs, intentions and actions, but we do not control the results. They are always a co-creation between us and the universal forces that are a natural expression of the divine.
We can learn the divine laws that govern the universe.
We can choose the words, the thoughts, the beliefs, the intentions and the actions which, in co-creation with the divine laws, create the most beautiful and the most joyous results. Making such choices is my definition of wisdom.

The results of our divine co-creation do not belong to us. They belong to the Divine Supreme which is the manifestation of the divine within the evolutionary worlds in space-time, like our world, to the extent that this world is awakened in Life and Light. So the results belong to us to the extent that we are ONE with the Divine Supreme.

Areas of responsability

What belongs to me …
I am responsible for…
I can transform, if I want …

My thoughts
My words
My behaviour
My energy
My attitude
My wounds
My talents
My flaws
My choices
My actions
My will
My desires
My wishes
My needs
My lower self
My beliefs
My opinions
My habits
My reactions
My answers
My requests
My requirements
My masks
My defenses
My emotions
My feelings
My experience
My ambitions
My expectations
My hopes
My alignment
My intentions
My inner images
My vision
My ideas
My convictions
My values
My faith
My character
My sharing
My self-expression
My energy channels
My chakras
My subtle bodies

What does not belong to me …
I’m not responsible for …
I can accompany or respond to …, but not control …

The thoughts of the other
The word of the other
The behavior of the other
The energy of the other
The attitude of the other
The wounds of the other
The talents of the other
The flaws of the other
The choices of the other
The actions of the other
The will of the other
The desires of the other
The wishes of the other
The needs of the other
The lower self of the other
The beliefs of the other
The opinions of the other
The habits of the other
The reactions of the other
The answers of the other
The requests of the other
The requirements of the other
The masks of the other
The defenses of the other
The emotions of the other
The feelings of the other
The experience of the other
The ambitions of the other
The expectations of the other
The hopes of the other
The alignment of the other
The intentions of the other
The inner images of the other
The vision of the other
The ideas of the other
The convictions of the other
The values ​​of the other
The faith of the other
The character of the other
The sharing of the other
The self-expression of the other
The energy channels of the other
The chakras of the other
The subtle bodies of the other

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