Many communication trainers have taught this for many years already: the content of our words account for only about 20% of the interaction in a dialogue, and some even say it’s as little as 7%! The final result of dialogue (what impressions are received, what is and isn’t registered, what is remembered, what conclusions are drawn, and what choices are made upon these conclusions, etc.) depends on many more aspects of the interaction besides the cognitive exchange. Communication trainers emphasize the importance of body language (facial expressions, posture, mobility of body and hands, positioning towards one another, and much more). Some trainers have also discovered the importance of the emotional charge behind words. With this openness of mind, we are approaching the area of the total interaction that occurs when two people have a dialogue.
To better understand the total interaction between two people, it is important to make an opening of the mind towards the energetic exchange that occurs during an interaction. I assume you have probably recognized the experience that some interactions charge you up and give you a pleasant feeling, while other interactions may tire you out and leave you with an unpleasant feeling, whilst there is, cognitively speaking, no direct correlation between the content of the conversation and the emotional/energetic outcome. This is because there is always a lot more happening than just the passage of spoken words. From the perspective of the integral scope of life we observe, besides the physical interaction (spoken words and body language), yet another vast spectrum of energetic interactions that occur automatically during a conversation. Several of them are already explored in some previous elements of IP:
- 8. Interrelational dynamics
- 11. Energy exchange between people
One of the most profound levels of human exchange, and also one of the most potent ones, is the energy transmission that happens through relational cords. From my perspective the energy transmission in the relational cords is the most determining force that shapes the quality and the direction of any relationship. A relation cord is defined by five parameters: the function, modulation, weight, order and transmission. I explain them in detail in my book “Integral Transformation”.