Gender reconciliation

This week I have something to celebrate.

There is a small history preceding my celebration:

In 2011, while still more externally active in the men’s support movement and while doing a training in family constellations, and after a learning confrontation with an ‘equal rights’ department, I had this insight about gender equality from a systemic perspective.

I have been surprised 😲 how these simple statements have encountered so much resistance or disdain when I forwarded them in situations where the topic was active, not even hot.

Last Tuesday, during a supervision session with students with mixed levels of Integral Presence experience (from 1 to 6 years) I could accompany a small gender constellation for humanity where the first three statements could be integrated and the 4th statement could find a start of a healing process.

I have been waiting for more then 8 years for such a manifestation. And the day before yesterday I had a small glimpse of what a healing process these Essential awarenesses could provoke for humanity.

It is a small step, yet I find deep satisfaction and immense hope in this small step . Hence my celebration.

Inspired by gratitude I’m copying the gender reconciliation statements from my personal website into this website.

With love ❤

Looking and seeing …

What do you see when you look at me?
What do I see when I look at you?
What do I see when I look at myself?
What do you see when you look at yourself?

When you look at me, do you see a body, a facial expression, a gesture, a look from the eyes, a movement, a body part or clothing?
When you look at me, do you see a person, a character, a persona, an image, a personality, a figure or a profile?
When you look at me, do you see a human being or a human species?
When you look at me, do you see an object or do you see someone?
When you look at me, do you see an individual, a family member, a colleague, a member of a group, a part of a community, a member of a movement or a brother / sister of the human family?
When you look at me, do you see a role, a responsibility, a position, a status, a function or a capacity?

When you look at me, do you see a provider, a care giver, a protector, a savior, a mother/father figure, a teacher, a guide, a master?

When you look at me, do you see someone to take care of or to provide for, a protege, a lost soul, a substitue child, a pupil, a follower, a devotee?
When you look at me, do you see an autonomous individual or an extension of yourself?
When you look at me, do you compare with me or do you see your own reflection in me?
When you look at me, do you give me a meaning … in your life, … for your needs, … for your desires, … for your ambitions, … in your worldview, …?
When you look at me, are you looking for something?
When you look at me, do you put something in me?
When you look at me, do you give me a role … for yourself, for the children, for the family members, for the friends, for others, for the organization, for the company, for the community or for the world?

When you look at me, do you give me a ranking, … higher, lower or equal to you… or someone else?
When you look at me, do you see a family tree, a spiritual lineage, a religious affiliation, a philosophical acquaintanceship, a cultural tradition, an artistic descendance, a political color or an outsider?
When you look at me, do you have an impression or no impression at all?
When you look at me, do you see fullness or emptiness, business or void?
When you look at me, do you see a story in me or do you make a story around me or about me?
When you look at me, do you see my ego or my being, my body or my soul, my personality or my core?
When you look at me, do you see who I am?
When you look at me, do you see the “I am”?


Truth has no need for defense, on the contrary …

My intellect loves flirting with striking paradoxes. After this morning meditation my mind was grooming the following idea.

Defending what you belief stiffens the mind and the very belief itself becomes the veil that dims the bright light of the living truth of every present moment.

In contrast to defense, a living faith in Source  propels our consciousness into the direct experience of the highest and deepest truths accessible for us, human beings, …

… this direct experience is a supraphilosophical sensitivity that perceives reality way beyond the limits of what our human intelligence can grasp.

Nevertheless we need to exercise our intelligence by making the best possible interpretations of those veracities …

… in order to integrate the most thrilling expansions of our awakening consciousness with a decent level of mental sanity.

I beg you …

Please don’t throw me the wise words of some established authority …
I beg you, please, share me your struggles in understanding life, regardless how deliciously imperfect or smart as they may be …
Please don’t present me another admirable personality in human history …
I beg you, please, show me your true soul’s desires, however small or big they may be …
Please don’t sell me any entertainment …
I beg you, please, allow me to see your authentic feelings in the moment …
Please don’t squeeze yourself into the person you believe you should be …
I beg you, please, tell me what makes your heart sing, no matter how cultivated or silly it may be …

selfies and Selfies


Feeding ideas of who you should be is self harassment.

Feeding ideas of who you are is self delusion.

Acting on your present moment heart’s desire, without attachment to nor identification with the results, is Self expression.

Consciously living your present moment heart’s joy is Self realization.


Jan Janssen


Immersion April 12th 2017

It seems to become a recurring starting point: mindfulness. Even though this day we had a group with very mixed acquaintances to meditation, the flow brought us to longer exercices that may have stretched some comfort zones.

The first part of the practice was devoted to develop some discipline in the attention of the mind. Both experienced and beginning practitioners showed exquisite self observations following this exercice.

The second part of the session was dedicated to deepen body connectedness through an approach that is different from a mental body scan or a general body relaxation. This approach installs body affinity through direct perception and awareness.

Almost all participants expressed a shift in the experience of the passing of time. The session that took more then an hour in physical time was experienced as having passed in 20 or 30 minutes. This shift in time experience is a common phenomena when going into a state of meditative absorption.

Looking forward to the next, each time unique, immersion experience.


Process group – March 29th 2017

This second process event was building further on the energy we created during the first session. New participants were kindly and smoothly integrated by the returning participants of the first event.

I felt warmly touched by the respect and safety in the holding container that the group members were able to hold for one another. And it was rewarding for me to witness courageous personal explorations that crossed the transformational tunnel that evening. There was space for themes of

  • self-confrontation,
  • taking baby steps towards a big shift,
  • honoring resistances and moving beyond them,
  • family constellation,
  • self-reflection,
  • support for a life changing choice,
  • … and simply growing in awareness.

With gratitude to those who walk the path and to the hosts of the location.


Immersion March 29th 2017

As before we started the immersion today with basic mindfulness: simply being aware of what is. The group expressed their ease with the first exercise and following this we jumped towards quite an advanced exercise: observing the observer. Although challenging, this exercise evoked a lot of valuable insights. Sincere sharing revealed how different and unique each person’s experience was from the same commonly shared exercise.

The depth of personal sharing I heard, kindled a fond gratitude in me for the trust that people were showing each other spontaneously. In this space of confidence we moved deeper into body awareness. The safety in the group allowed us to go further then a regular body scan. The gate was open for exercising body awareness through direct perception.

After this practice, again, honest personal sharing showed a strikingly intimate atmosphere for such a short interval of connecting.

We concluded this immersion session with a small introduction into energy awareness.

Jan Janssen

Process group – February 16th 2017

This evening we launched the first IP Process group. At the time of arrival we took a moment for informal connecting. It was a matter of minutes to settle and to get comfortable.

We opened the meeting with an IP meditation. This prepared the mind with a relaxed and  enhanced focus for working in a safe space of enlarged consciousness. As soon as the group was coherently installed in tranquil lucid awareness, each member took a minute to identify one’s own purpose for the meeting. The intentions for growth and change were written down and brought into the stream of the creative process.

Well primed with transparent presence we gave ample attention to each group member who was ready to explore personal topics. I was particularly touched by the courage and the willingness to go deep. The natural respect in the group probably contributed to the safety people must have felt to look into private and sensitive matters. Emotions, resistance, belief systems, and struggles got welcomed with unconditional love. Liberating insights naturally raised. Restorative healing occurred. Empowering new perspectives opened up.

Needless to say I can only give a description of the process since the concrete content of the personal process rests securely sealed in the sacred discretion of the work.

Following the individual support segments we reserved some consideration for closing the process container that culminated in thanksgiving. During the warmhearted goodbyes we all expressed a keen anticipation for the next meeting.